Something was missing in our marriage. I started looking outside of my marriage to try to fill what was missing. The decision resulted in several affairs. I got pregnant in the next 9 years five times. By God's grace, even though people around me were encouraging me to have abortions. I will admit I was totally a wreck... my life was not centered around Jesus at all. I was on drugs and alcohol. But, even though I felt so far from God and was not attending church services to help me gain strength and comfort in my trouble, I was still able by God's grace to give birth to my children and put them up for adoption. I am amazed at the way grace worked in my life. God put this thought in my mind. There are so many children who desperately want to have children, but for some reason or other cannot. My giving them mine will give them a chance to enjoy and know what it means to have a family and give the babies a chance to know the joy of growing up and experiencing the joy of Life.

It was very hard to walk away from the hospital knowing someone else was going to be taking my baby home. The only way I could deal with it was knowing how happy they were going to be to finally have a family of their own. God wanted those babies here on earth for a reason. Maybe, I thought, they are destined to do something great in their lifetime. I have never regretted putting them up for adoption.

Love you all!  Still married, Still a mother, and now a Christian.... learning how to share God's grace with others.